Last night, Quentin Tarantino brought his special brand of clammy yuck to the Idol competition, serving as mentor to the Top 7 as they performed "Music from the Movies." Specifically, this meant leering at Allison, growling at Anoop, giving Gokey and … [Continue reading]
American Idol: Hurls on Film
April 15, 2009 By
"They've dominated the small screen for the past six weeks," says wee Ryan. Our boy needs to buy a new calendar, because this crap has been going on since January. "Tonight, our Top 7 takes on music from the movies." To underscore this theme--and to … [Continue reading]
American Idol Results: 8 Become 7
April 9, 2009 By
Last night, the Idols celebrated songs from the year they were born--except for Gokey, who sang a cover of a song from the year he was born. Apparently, it is Gokey's mission in life to make me throw a brick at my television. Gokey is the new … [Continue reading]
American Idol: Tears for Years
April 8, 2009 By
Wow. This season is just flying by, isn't it? Last week, we lost what's-her-face, with the tattoos and the voice and shimmy-shimmy. Now we're left with eight individuals with the potential to become stars, but who, in all likelihood, with just be … [Continue reading]
American Idol Results: 9 Become 8
April 1, 2009 By
Last night, the Idols got their iTunes on. There were bad song choices, bad performances, and most horrible of all, bad hair. Tonight, another soul gets booted with nothing to show for it but some snarky blog commentary from people like me, and the … [Continue reading]
American Idol: Like Nine Peas in an iPod
April 1, 2009 By
Tonight, the producers make a half-assed attempt at being musically current. Of course the Idols will mess it up by exhuming the graves of long-dead songs and turning them into boring, unrecognizable trash. But what do you expect? This, after all, is … [Continue reading]
American Idol Results: 10 Become 9
March 27, 2009 By
Hey, where are my Idols, looking worried and/or cocky as Seacrest starts the show? This episode begins with recap clips of last night. No sign of the gang. Lazy producers. Here's what you missed: Smokey Robinson glared at us with demon-eyes, Paula … [Continue reading]
American Idol: Top 10: Mo is Less
March 26, 2009 By
"What happens when you mix the most talked about singers in the nation with some of the most influential songs in the world?" You get the Pussycat Dolls. Am I right? Tonight, the Top 10 take on the music of Motown, which is a funny word if you stare … [Continue reading]
American Idol Results: 11 Become 10
March 19, 2009 By
Last night was Country Night, and unless the show decides that opera, polka, or Muzak are suitable themes, we've managed to survive the worst genre night of the season. Well, we've mostly survived. Because one of these assholes is going home. The … [Continue reading]
American Idol: Top 11: Burn After Singing
March 18, 2009 By
Welcome to the shortest recap ever. The reason: It's Country Night. The mentor: Randy Travis. The boredom: Excessive. This is American Idol. Nobody calls me 'Mad Dog.' Especially not some duded-up, egg-suckin' gutter trash. … [Continue reading]
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