funny humor column mcawesome

Happy me

Our first anniversary celebration...of doom!

by Dave McAwesome

On a cold, blustery day in mid-January, 2005, entered the interweb like an arthritic hyena exiled from his pack. I don't know how that metaphor applies, exactly, but it sounds good dammit--and sometimes that's enough.

I began with a blank Notepad document, an "HTML for Total Retards" reference book, a tasty snack treat, two mushy overripe apples, a broken umbrella and an empty fridge. "Need beer," I shouted as I uploaded the first piece onto the site (a note of displeasure at the name of my friend's band, half of which I cut and pasted from an email I had sent him).

One year later, I think you'll agree, it's all been downhill. "No where to go but up," you say, reassuringly. "Nay!" I retort. "We're got waaaaay more depths in which to sink, way more mountains of stupidity to climb, way more metaphors to mangle."

I've learned a lot about HTML since then, namely that I should've used CSS. (This is a coding joke. If you don't know anything about coding, trust me, it's very funny. Laugh along. It'll make me feel better.) As a treat, here's what the site originally looked like (until I totally redesigned it during week 2).

debut design pic
Why I thought such a dark font was okay is beyond recollection.

Ug-ly with a capital 'Ug.' I made up for that by using a crappy camera to ensure that all pictures on this site would never exceed the rank of "passable." To top that, I recruited a cadre of crackerjack writers who promptly get me their articles "sometimes." (Yet they wonder why I drink.)

Anyway, I want to thank you all for visiting and for your occasional emails of lukewarm support. I think you will enjoy the coming year. I'll try not to disappoint (too much).

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