The unexamined life is not worth living. Unless you're rich, in which case you're probably living pretty well.
- War on the Floor IVSkip Hoppington Strikes Back
- Happy Super Awesome Day 2008To celebrate this year's awesomest holiday, I wanted to get a gift for a very special someone. That journey took a lot longer than I thought and even involved Voltron. Gift guide for Toyville.
- McAwesome vs. The BarBuilding my own bar means I will always get served first. Thrilling 5-part adventure with beer and power tools.
- Old-style arcadeI *do* have plenty of better things to do with my time. Nevertheless, I made a paper arcade machine for the forum.
- Happy graduationDid Star Wars fanboys ruin your yearbook? It's been done before.
- My stupid design notesI changed the nameplate again.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2008You didn't think I forgot Cereal Awareness Month, did you? Well, okay, I almost forgot.
- Valentine's Day SongsBased on the four most romantic songs, this must be the most romantic poem ever.
- 3rd anniversaryTravel more than 100 stupid years for anniversary number three.
- War on the Floor IIIAttack on Peep Village
- McAwesome vs. The LotteryIs $12 million enough?
- Kidney conundrumIf Bart Swillington needed a kidney, would I step up? Should I?
- Funeral for a friendA dear, dear friend passed away recently. Love lies bleeding on my glossy 8x10 Hammermill paper.
- Left for dead in VegasYes I was. Good times, good times.
- My Free iPhoneJealous much? It's only the greatest thing since last month's greatest thing.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2007Take a minute to stop and think...about cereal.
- Fruit Loops
Fruit Loops kicks off this year's Cereal Awareness Month. Loops? Yes. Fruit? No.
- McAwesome Breakfast Cereal Guide
The incalculably important and massively indexical cereal guide is launched. Huzzah!
- Cap'n Crunch and Mario team up
Mario and his Nintendo friends join Cap'n Crunch for board game boredom.
- Cap'n Crunch
A closer look at this hallowed cereal.
- Bamm-Bamm Berry PebblesWhat, like Fruity Pebbles isn't good enough that we need Berry Pebbles?
- Fruit Loops
- My Mutilated ValentineTrixie the Pixie is having a bad Valentine's Day.
- Grammar Guide
Duck, I'm trying to be helpful. Actually, no, I only did this for my personal reference. That shouldn't stop YOU from using it, however. It's a guide of common mistakes in English written in a way that's not completely boring.
- Two down, 98 to goSecond anniversary of doom.
- Happy Super Awesome Day 2006The holiday celebration continues.
- Half-boyThe bizarre and unnecessary introduction to Half-boy.
- McAwesome vs. HalloweenDo razor blades and candy really mix? We did our best to find out.
- McDonald's Monopoly game made me its bitch...and it's all my fault.
- McPlan for McCashMcDonald's Monopoly game, I demand satisfaction.
- Dear Strawberry ShortcakeShe's turning 30 and I'm the only one who can talk her off the spinster ledge. Hopefully she can forgive past...indiscretions. My open letter to Strawberry Shortcake. (Includes a link to my, ahem, MySpace page.)
- McAwesome UniversityI am thrilled to announce that McAwesome University has officially opened its doors to the public.
- Quest for the Stink FlowerIt's a field trip! Join me on an excursion through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and see it like you've never seen it before.
- I have a stupid dreamMine is more realistic than Martin Luther King's. (Includes aircar reference.)
- The art of hateI hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed eating it.
- Mother's Day MadnessI am an imposter. I have a sad and terrible tale for you, dear reader.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2006We all need to take a moment...for cereal.
- Berry Krispies
Berry Krispies kicks off Cereal Awareness Month with a confusing melange of flavors and misleading cereal box activities.
- Cocoa Pebbles: The Poisoning
I can't lie. I always liked Fruity Pebbles better.
- Lucky Charms: Decoded
This time I take down Lucky himself (features telephone goodness).
- Cookie Crisp
Solution to the Cookie Crisp cereal box puzzle. Difficulty level: medium.
- Berry Krispies
- Valentine's Day Still SucksI hate this bogus Hallmark holiday, and today it's claimed a life.
- Countdown to DestinyDeb's hankerin to see her honey. Instead of helping, I build a timer.
- Happy AnniversaryJanuary 12th is the birthday of this site. Good heavens, we've accomplished so little. (A note on our first anniversary.)
- I ingested a known toxinMy unfortunate encounter with olestra.
- Happy Beer-fueled Holidays - A tale of horrorThis is the opposite of what any rational being could desire on a holiday evening.
- Trying is the first step towards failureIt is said failure makes the taste of success that much sweeter, but it doesn't change the fact that failure tastes like crap.
- Happy Super Awesome DayWhy start a new holiday? This one's awesomer.
- Twelve hours of beerA binge of questionable importance. (Plus, bar-hopping with Lando.)
- Much Ado about 'To Do'Failure. Now available in convenient list form. (Plus a couple of famous 'to do' lists throughout history.)
- The Soul HarvesterSince you're not using your soul anyway, you mindless drone you, why not give it to someone with a plan?
- War on the Floor IIThe rise and fall of Zombie Pope...in my living room...with action figures.
- Zombie PopeEpilogue to the Conclave '05 and prologue to War on the Floor II.
- I swallowed some nutsIn which I am introduced to the culinary delight of office supplies. (Plus the debut of the Star Wars Goodness Chart.)
- Lance Armstrong is not my heroThose stupid yellow awareness bracelets must stop. Plus, the NASA space program runs into another snafu: no Tang.
- Openly Mocking My ChildhoodSavaging the embarrassing trinkets of childhood. Plus: why women, not men, should name children.
- Neighbors for a Day: E3 and VegasUnder the influence of beer.
- Star Wars: The CerealCereal is the central preoccupation of my life.
- The Eyeman ComethWhat happened to Dave last fall when his cell phone bit it and he entrusted his eyesight to discount wholesale professionals? You're about to find out.
- I helped someoneIt was an accident. I swear. (Plus, the first appearance of the Spiff-o-meter.)
- Border States: the bandIn which I take music criticism to a new height.
- I ran for PopeI can't believe I didn't win.
- Blogging TipsAdvice for the clueless.
- The War on the Floor SagaG.I.Joe vs. Transformers...to the death.
- G.I. ZooSo many animals...reload my rifle.
- X Stands for StupidComics and I were a dreadful combination.
- YokoramaHow not to name your band.