Attack on Peep Village

Is $12 million enough?

If Bart Swillington needed a kidney, would I step up? Should I?

A dear, dear friend passed away recently. Love lies bleeding on my glossy 8x10 Hammermill paper.

Yes I was. Good times, good times.

Jealous much? It's only the greatest thing since last month's greatest thing.

Take a minute to stop and think...about cereal.

Trixie the Pixie is having a bad Valentine's Day.

Duck, I'm trying to be helpful. Actually, no, I only did this for my personal reference. That shouldn't stop YOU from using it, however. It's a guide of common mistakes in English written in a way that's not completely boring.

Second anniversary of doom.

The holiday celebration continues.

The bizarre and unnecessary introduction to Half-boy.

Do razor blades and candy really mix? We did our best to find out.

...and it's all my fault.

McDonald's Monopoly game, I demand satisfaction.

She's turning 30 and I'm the only one who can talk her off the spinster ledge. Hopefully she can forgive past...indiscretions. My open letter to Strawberry Shortcake. (Includes a link to my, ahem, MySpace page.)

I am thrilled to announce that McAwesome University has officially opened its doors to the public.

It's a field trip! Join me on an excursion through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and see it like you've never seen it before.

Mine is more realistic than Martin Luther King's. (Includes aircar reference.)

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed eating it.

I am an imposter. I have a sad and terrible tale for you, dear reader.

We all need to take a moment...for cereal.

I hate this bogus Hallmark holiday, and today it's claimed a life.

Deb's hankerin to see her honey. Instead of helping, I build a timer.

January 12th is the birthday of this site. Good heavens, we've accomplished so little. (A note on our first anniversary.)

My unfortunate encounter with olestra.

This is the opposite of what any rational being could desire on a holiday evening.

It is said failure makes the taste of success that much sweeter, but it doesn't change the fact that failure tastes like crap.

Why start a new holiday? This one's awesomer.

A binge of questionable importance. (Plus, bar-hopping with Lando.)

Failure. Now available in convenient list form. (Plus a couple of famous 'to do' lists throughout history.)

Since you're not using your soul anyway, you mindless drone you, why not give it to someone with a plan?

The rise and fall of Zombie Pope...in my living room...with action figures.

Epilogue to the Conclave '05 and prologue to War on the Floor II.

In which I am introduced to the culinary delight of office supplies. (Plus the debut of the Star Wars Goodness Chart.)

Those stupid yellow awareness bracelets must stop. Plus, the NASA space program runs into another snafu: no Tang.

Savaging the embarrassing trinkets of childhood. Plus: why women, not men, should name children.

Under the influence of beer.

Cereal is the central preoccupation of my life.

What happened to Dave last fall when his cell phone bit it and he entrusted his eyesight to discount wholesale professionals? You're about to find out.

It was an accident. I swear. (Plus, the first appearance of the Spiff-o-meter.)

In which I take music criticism to a new height.

I can't believe I didn't win.

Advice for the clueless.

G.I.Joe vs. Transformers...to the death.

So many animals...reload my rifle.

Comics and I were a dreadful combination.

How not to name your band.