War on the Floor II: The Rise and Fall of Zombie Popeby Dave McAwesome
- Prologue: Zombie Pope
- The Introduction of Great Importance
- 1. Sermon on the Couch
- 2. A punch is thrown. Feelings are hurt.
- 3. Enter Galactus
The Introduction of Great Importance
Quick note: There is some light-hearted spoofing on religion here. My priority is to make this as funny as possible without worrying about whether or not you, your tenuous beliefs and/or your low self-esteem are offended. And, no, I will not disclose my personal religious views. If you continue to read and are offended, let me leave you with this: I. Don't. Care. Also: I wrote this entire thing under severe influence of alcohol. So...good for me, I guess.
- Zombie Pope - John Paul II once again walks the earth as a living dead. Who can stop Zombie Pope?
- Thor - Son of the Patriarch of the Norse gods, Thor's nasty gambling habit finally comes home to roost. (I have no idea what that metaphor means...A gambling habit roosts? How, exactly?)
- Galactus - Destroyer of worlds, he feeds on the life energy of planets. He is usually foiled by Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four via some arbitrarily introduced plot device.
- Narrator - A gutless storyteller who preys on the preternatural exploits of others to win over the affections of attractive lady-types.
- Duke - Head of the G.I. Joe team. (Duh.)
- Snake Eyes - Ninja. Again, duh.