funny humor column mcawesome

Enter Galactus

The nerve-rattling conclusion rattles some nerves

Part 3, War on the Floor II

by Dave McAwesome
enter galactus pic
Narrator: As Thor and Zombie Pope locked in battle on Dave's living room couch, Galactus, the destroyer of worlds, descended to begin his deadly work. Duke and Snake Eyes, meanwhile, ate some popcorn.
Thor: Uh, what are you doing?
Galactus: I am making final preparations so I can eat your planet.
Zombie Pope: The whole thing? Or just the non-Catholic part?
Galactus: The whole magilla. I feed off the energy of planets. Today, I hunger for the sweet magma of your sugar-coated, artificially colored planet.
galactus pic

galactus spork pic Thor: Didst thou forget thy fresh batteries?
Galactus: Hm. Apparently, yes. No matter. I still wield the interstellar fork of planet eating!
Thor: That's a spork, dude.
Galactus: What? No, it's a fork.
Thor: Spork.
Galactus: This is the Fork of Galan. The Utility Cosmic!
Thor: Don't be coming to the planet that invented sporks and try to tell me that's not a spork.
Galactus: Regardless, insignificant one, I'm going to tear into your world like a box of Keebler Fudge Stripes.
ZP: Thor, all differences aside, I don't see an upside to this.
Thor: I'm still not sure why anyone would eat Keebler Fudge Stripes with a spork.
ZP: If he eats our planet...
thor zombie pope believers pic

Thor: Hey, uh, dost thou, dunno, I got some Fritos.
galactus hungers not for fritos pic

Thor: Fine, fine. More Fritos for me. Sheesh.
ZP: I can't let you eat the planet, Galactus.
Galactus: You cannot stop Galactus. You have no super powers.
pope invokes guilt pic

Galactus: Aigh! Yeaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh. Oh, calamity! What have I done? All those people...billions upon billions of people...
ZP: Rough, huh?
Galactus: I haven't felt this bad since I told this Venusian harlot I was an X-man just to get in her pants.
ZP: You owe me three billion Hail Mary's. Off you go then.
Thor: Nicely done, Zombie Pope. Now let's get you to Hades.
thor bonks zombie pope pic

thor drags zombie pope pic

snake eyes sick pic

snake eyes puking pic

Thus concludes War on the Floor 2. Some thanks are in order: Team Awesome's Frank for the Thor and Galactus figures, Ms. van der Fakename for the spork.

Head on back to the main War on the Floor page.

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