Lucky Charms Key Code
Decrypted! Plus a stupid phone call!by Dave McAwesome
In Lucky Charms' latest misadventure, you must find the keys and use the map coordinates to decode the message. Oooooh, secret cereal message. Exciting times these are.
"Pour milk," huh? That's the answer? These highly paid cereal puzzle authors are just phoning it in. I feel bad for today's children who suffer through this joyless, unimaginative breakfast environment. It's the most important meal of the day! Don't take MY word for it. That's G.I. Joe talking, and they KNOW dude. Knowing is anywhere from 42 percent to a full half of the battle.
More importantly, "pour milk" is a misleading fluff for the bovine and dairy industries. Plain tap water is just as effective for revealing the marshmallow key.
Why do you lie to us, Lucky? Are your cereal charms so valuable to you and your vast leprechaun empire that you must throw us off your tiny tracks? And these marshmallow shapes...what happened to the classics? Blue diamonds, orange stars, green clovers, yellow moons, pink hearts...So fed up am I with the Lucky Charms cereal franchise, that I called General Mills.
Audio file of phone call to Lucky Charms people. You may notice the abrupt ending. My theory is Lucky hit the kill switch for the General Mills phone operators.