Ram Turbo Danger
by Dave McAwesomeRam Turbo Danger a-comin right atcha! This is the single best G.I. Joe vehicle ever.
It's called the Dreadnok Machine of Wheel-Churning Death or something. It's driver was Thrasher, the gay Dreadnok, and he had a handsome whisp of green highlight in his hair. Otherwise, this car was pure Mad Max. Twin-barreled Gatling cannons on front and some sort of jet turbine strapped to the back with duct tape (pictured). Yeah, it's that F-16 engine that I want to talk about. Not the cool ass armored roll cage or the cooler ass rubber tires (Freakin rubber, man. Rubber!). On the engine itself was a sticker with the words "Ram Turbo Danger" in bold type. Individually, I know what each of those words mean, but not together. I'm trying to figure this out. So this "Ram Turbo Danger" is a particular type of danger, namely the Ram Turbo type. See, if it said, "Your face a'splode," I'd totally get it. But I don't know what kind of danger I'm in if I'm in Ram Turbo Danger. Is it a ducking kind of danger? Or a jump out of the way kind? Or "lick the engine! Quick, man! Lick it before your face a'splode!" kind? Or is it the type of danger that destroys the hearing of the car's occupants (as surely it must)?
But, wait, when I'm at a punk show, while my hearing is in jeopardy no way am I ever in Ram Turbo Danger, so that can't be it. I dunno. I guess it's a Lick the Engine kinda danger. That's cool.
