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Writer's commentary

WOTF I

by Dave McAwesome

Making an episode of War on the Floor is the most fun you could have with your clothes on. Hm, well, I guess kissing is fun too. Okay, it's the most fun you could have with your clothes on and without lips. Or your girlfriend giving you a lapdance. Or a really good burger. You ever have a really good burger? Not just a good burger, but a really good burger? With cajun cheese fries? WOTF is fun, at any rate.

The G.I. Zoo prologue debuted at the end of January in 2005 (the site launched Jan. 12 of that year). The original WotF began at the end of February.

I wrote it first and took pictures later (which is how I do all the WOTFs). Sometimes I'll add a funny bit if I come up with a good picture idea while I'm shooting. For the record, no, I do not speak in the characters' voices while I'm photographing them.

Grimlock's puke is melted chocolate with bits of string beans. I had to shoot it on a white background instead of the carpet because I was not confident in my stain-removal skills.

I'm shocked that nobody ever, ever, ever spotted this, but there's an Autobot in there that I identify as Jazz. He is actually Wheeljack. I did it on purpose for two reasons: (1) I had one quip to make about Jazz but none on Wheeljack and (2) I wanted to see if any psycho Transformers fans would email me. Three years later? Nothin. You are all posers.

I genuinely intended to throw out all those toys after finishing WOTF. I had so much fun, I couldn't bear to do it. I stupidly threw away the G.I. Joe Headquarters playset and M.A.S.K. mountain/gas station HQ because I didn't have space in my apartment at the time. I deeply regret that now.

Props

The black Adidas Sambas are mine. I purposely wanted them somewhere in the background. I love Adidas Sambas, but I'm sad that I have to qualify them as black Sambas. All other colors of Samba are an affront to the sneaker gods. The G.I. Joe flag is from the original G.I. Joe HQ. The puffs of smoke are cotton balls. That carpet is currently in a landfill somewhere.

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