A new plan to fix the old plan

Part 2, War on the Floor IV

by Dave McAwesome
not exactly mandalorian super commandos
Left to right: New Meat (not yet inducted), Bruce, Lance, Ken and Li'l Bruce.

Skip: First off, I'd like to thank you for coming so quickly.
Bruce: *snicker*
Skip: To, you know, help me out.
Bruce: *double snicker*
Ken: (to Bruce) To th-service him.
Bruce: *triple snicker*
Skip: To...uh...yeah. It's good to see you Mandalorian Super Commandos again.
Bruce: Em, ix-nay on the andalorian-may.
Ken: (to Bruce) Bruce, that's th-so gay. What are you doing?
Bruce: Pig latin, dummy. Pipe down. (to Skip) We're not the Mandalorian Super Commandos.
Ken: As if.
Bruce: We got retconned out.
Ken: It happened in the prequels. We got preconned out.
Bruce: We're the Gaylordian Super Commandos.
Ken: Duh.
Bruce: Don't snipe, Ken. You're such a 'mo.
Skip: Okay...you...still look badass...when you aren't talking, at least.
Ken: Ooh, who's sniping now, Mister Snippity Snipford.
Bruce: You can't do that. You mixed snipe and snip. They're different.
Ken: Now you're sniping. I'm going to call you Missus Minniver Snippington the third.
Bruce: You did it again, Britney.
Skip: Uh...fine, then thanks for com--thanks for showing up. Now, second of all, thanks for nothing during the Battle of Peep Village. Where were you gays?
Bruce: In a galaxy far, far away from Straightville.
Skip: I get it. You're gay. I'm not. And you're going to stereotype your way through this whole episode.
Ken: (to Bruce) He's th-such a bitch. Look at his cute little th-scowl when he's pissy.
Skip: (muttering) This is just lisptastic.
Bruce: Too cute. We should all chickle fight later. (to Skip) It's a chicken fight and tickle fight combined. (to Ken) I get to ride Skippy. Like a mule.
Ken: Ooh th-super, now you're being bitchy.
Bruce: I am not. You're just lacking for conversation because you have no other motivation in this scene than to be a big gay bitch.
Ken: I am a gitch.
Bruce: You so are.
Skip: I tried emailing you, but I think you gave me the wrong address. You don't seem to own gaylord.com or gaylordmart.com.
Bruce: Wha-? Sure we do. Gaylord is our main site and Gaylord Mart is where we monetize our sexual orientation. Ken, whip your thingy out and go to gaylordmart.com.
Ken: (chuckling) Whip my thingy out? Who's the unimaginative punny homo now, Nathan Lane?
Bruce: Shut up. He's a national treasure, that Nathan Lane.
Ken: In th-space.
Bruce: Yes, a galactic treas--this is gaylordmart.com?!?

gaylord, gaylords
Ken whipped out his internet browsing device from a galaxy far, far away. Gaylord.com redirects to Gaylordmart.com. This really is the site. Who'da thunk?

Ken: That's not our th-site.
Bruce: You told me you registered the domain.
Ken: My th-stars, I thought I did, but you were fellating me at the time and I registered gamb-morb-mar.com instead.
Bruce: You wish I was fellating you. When we're done here, I want you to contact the owners of gaylord.com and gaylordmart.com. Ask them for the domains. And then ask them if they want to join up.
Skip: Guys, this is fascinating, but I've got a dragon on the loose in Bunny Country and my good buddy Puffy Roundtail is in its belly.
Ken: Heh, I've got a puffy for some round tail.
Bruce: Ken, dear, that's not nice. Skippy just lost his lover.
Skip: Wait, he's not...
Bruce: (to Ken) You have to console him.
Skip: He's not my lover.
Bruce: (to Ken) Get him through this rough patch.
Skip: We're buds, you know? Bros.
Bruce: (to Ken) Then ride his emotionally fragile keister like a mule.
Ken: Oh, you ride everything like a mule. What is it with you and mules?
Skip: No! We're bros. Kemosabees. Dude-o-matics. You know? Goin' around chasin' tail.
Ken: Kemosabutts? Chasin' tail? That's gay.
Bruce: So gay.

Next...the moderately exciting and marginally dramatic conclusion. Or head on back to the main War on the Floor page.

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