I know what you’re thinking. Ol’ Dave forgot about Halloween this year. Three years of bloody tradition scrapped!
Not true. I remembered. After three years of razor blades, it’s time for a little change up. This one is actually going to benefit you. Instead of our traditional madness, please go out trick or treating now. Today. November 1st. And any other day this week. Do not listen to the door jockeys who politely remind you that Halloween is over. Hold out your bag proudly. “Candy! More!” you’ll say.
They will give it. Think of all the houses still flush with Snickers and Tootsie Pops. They are, as they say in the retail biz, stuck with gobs of worthless inventory. Clean them out. You will thank me later. Until you get a massive stomach ache. Then you will not be thanking me so much as blaming your gluttony.
Please regale us with your tales of excess in the forum. Thank you and happy treating.