I am writing to you from the future. Greetings and good tidings. While you savor the fruits of a well-deserved recession, I am happily one year in the future, sitting on the monuments of financial ruin and enjoying circumstances only slightly less terrible. There are still no air cars.
Haha, when I said I was dropping the show last week, did you believe me? No, I’m doing to the show what it does in treating addicts: pretend to be all serious but not follow through one iota. So…here I am watching another episode. Damn it. I just screwed myself. [Continue Reading...]
“In war, truth is the first casualty.” Tell that to Poland. [Continue Reading...]
How has this site survived five long years on the internet? The internet! You can’t just go on the internet. They don’t take just anybody. And how on earth does an idea turn into electronic gold? What kind of machine tooling and manufacturing wizardry (and possibly gnomes) are involved? [Continue Reading...]
Dr. Drew calmly asks himself, “With a success rate so low, why do you even keep up the fight?” ‘Money,’ I answer, swigging another beer. Sweet, sweet VH1 money.
Lucky has a lot of hobbies: running from kids, hiding bowls of cereal, traveling via rainbow, pulling purple horseshoes off My Little Pony and cramming them in cereal boxes, running from more kids, stamp collecting, and learning how to be a fortune teller.
Here’s how the scam goes. Lucky convinces some stupid kids to cough up a fiver apiece. They watch a lot of paranormal shows on cable, so they’re gullible as hell. Lucky moves his hands around a plastic crystal ball. He clicks a hidden button on the floor with his foot. Lights flicker. The globe clouds over. One of the girls in the group makes up her mind that she’s totally going to make out with Seth tonight, because he’s being so, so brave during the crystal ball phenomena.
- Aug. 15, 2006 — It’s a field trip! Join me on an excursion through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and see it like you’ve never seen it before.
- I have a stupid dream — Mine is more realistic than Martin Luther King’s. (Includes aircar reference.)
- The Herpes Lifestyle
An in-depth look at the herpes lifestyle and the perscription drugs that do everything except cure it.
- Manly Man Food for Men
How to eat like a man without having to read some wussy-ass book.
- Paris Hilton’s album
Adam uses guesses, misinformation and outright lies to review music he’s never heard.
- Bacon Factory
Zach’s got an opening at his bacon factory. Polish up those resumes, people. (Two-parter.)
- Finished season 4 of my pointless yet vaguely satisfying episode guide to NewsRadio.