Cracker Jack’s “More Nuts” campaign still lacks balls

The data is in and tallied. Teams of empirical researchers and forensic accountants have received exotic vacation packages for their hard slogging. (The former are free to return to the query, “Cancer, how’s about a cure?”) My earlier concerns have been confirmed. Despite a vigorous “More Nuts” splash on their packaging, Cracker Jack boxes don’t have a hell of a lot of nuts.[Continue Reading…]

Cracker Jack’s “More Nuts” campaign lacks balls

Cracker Jack’s updated packaging has been pushing “More Nuts” in our faces, but I found less than 50 peanuts in an 8.5 ounce bag. The ratio of caramel popcorn puff to peanut is just under 6 to 1. Unacceptable. I’m gonna buy another bag and confirm my results.

Go to part II for the exciting conclusion to this daring expose.

Boo Berry spotting

Once again, the always elusive Boo Berry cereal (Frankenberry and Count Chocula’s red-headed stepchild) is out now for the holiday season.

Don’t be stupid and miss out on Halloween’s latest tradition that isn’t at all a shallow marketing ploy designed to make you spend more money on stuff you don’t need.

Kookies generic no frills Cookie Crisp

I’ve been waiting for a no frills version of Cookie Crisp for years. [Continue Reading…]

Cupcake Pebbles: frosting with milk

There is a new entry in the Flinstones’ cereal world: Cupcake Pebbles.[Continue Reading…]

Cereal Awareness Month 2010

It’s that time again. April is Cereal Awareness Month. [Continue Reading…]

Cereal Awareness Month archive

While I personally have always been festive about cereal, we officially started this holiday in 2006. That’s the kind of forward-thinking pioneers we are.  You’re welcome. [Continue Reading…]

Holiday Gift Guide 2009: Medieval Banquet

Huzzah and muhalo. When you hunger for a meel fit for a king, you should eat a meal fit for a king. England’s own Apex Catering offers authentically prepared medieval banquets for groups even exceeding 500. This isn’t a froofy renaissance fair crapfest starring folklore majors who haven’t showered since their junior year. This is the real McCoy (or Plantaginet, as it were).

[Continue Reading…]

Boo Berry now at Target

This is a public service announcement. Boo Berry cereal is now available by the truckload at Target.

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Lucky Charms has Crystal Balls

Lucky Charms gazes into the crystal ball and sees his future as a small man with rotten teeth.

Lucky gazes into the crystal ball and sees his future as a small man with rotten teeth.

Lucky has a lot of hobbies: running from kids, hiding bowls of cereal, traveling via rainbow, pulling purple horseshoes off My Little Pony and cramming them in cereal boxes, running from more kids, stamp collecting, and learning how to be a fortune teller.

Here’s how the scam goes. Lucky convinces some stupid kids to cough up a fiver apiece. They watch a lot of paranormal shows on cable, so they’re gullible as hell. Lucky moves his hands around a plastic crystal ball. He clicks a hidden button on the floor with his foot. Lights flicker. The globe clouds over. One of the girls in the group makes up her mind that she’s totally going to make out with Seth tonight, because he’s being so, so brave during the crystal ball phenomena.

[Continue Reading…]