Nine. Count ‘em. Nine long years of stupidity. Some highlights (or the less bad articles, at least) are below.
Even though I’ve converted from static to dynamic page creation (don’t worry, I don’t know what that means either), the old stuff is still there. Nothing’s lost. All the old pages are there. You just gotta go to the old home page. I won’t delete that.
- In space.
- In space.
- In space.
- 5th anniversary…of doom
How has this site survived five long years on the internet?
- Cupcake Pebbles
It’s frosting with milk.
- Ceareal Awareness Month
- Valentine’s Day with a Goompgomp
A timeless love story between a Goompgomp and a rock.
- TV show episode guides
Updated archive of random crap that Frank and I occasionally watch.
- War on the Floor V
Recession in Toyville.
- Happy Super Awesome Day – Holiday Gift Guide 2009
Our most expensive gift guide to date.
- Byzantine Empire campaign
I chronicle a long and unnecessary campaign in a long and unnecessarily complex video game.
- Brett Favre: The Game
He screwed up the Packers. He screwed up my team. Perhaps you can navigate this Zork-like adventure to see how he’ll screw up your team.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2009
Cereal awareness is an often neglected part of our national health program.
- Dave McAwesome vs. Toy Fair 2009
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how much time I spent on this.
- Dave McAwesome vs New York Comiccon 2009
I like puppets. I like filming them. I like filming them talking about toys and junk.
- Valentine’s Day with Jack and Jill
I wanted to rewrite the Jack and Jill poem for Valentine’s Day. With pictures.
- 4th anniversary: Apocalypse of Doom
This was the longest anniversary article to date. It’s topic is the coming apocalypse and my preparations. Is it stupid? Yes, but I never let that stop me writing before.
- War on the Floor IV
Skip Hoppington Strikes Back.
- Happy Super Awesome Day 2008
To celebrate this year’s awesomest holiday, I wanted to get a gift for a very special someone. That journey took a lot longer than I thought and even involved Voltron. Gift guide for Toyville.
- McAwesome vs. The Bar
Building my own bar means I will always get served first. Thrilling 5-part adventure with beer and power tools.
- Star Wars Guide
The definitive guide to Star Wars. Minus the facts.
- 3rd anniversary
Last year, we travelled into the future. This time, we’re going over 100 years into the past to see what the site would’ve looked like in the 1890s. I’m proud of the graphics I did for this article…well, one of them at any rate.
- Valentine’s Day poem
I mined the most romantic songs ever to produce the most romantic poem ever. Thank you, Marvin Gaye.
- Two down, 98 to go
To celebrate the site’s second anniversary (of doom), I look 98 years into the future.
- My Mutilated Valentine
Trixie the Pixie is having a bad Valentine’s Day. I do so love the Valentine’s Day updates.
- War on the Floor III
Attack on Peep Village. Arguably the most ambitious to date in terms of stupidity.
- My Free iPhone
I had enough hearing all these pretentious iDorks raving about an iPhone they had never even held in their hand.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2007
This year’s CAM was the best so far.
- Guide crazy
- Holiday Gift Guide
Celebrating Super Awesome Day 2007 with consumer greed.
- Cereal Awareness Month 2006
2006 was an exciting year. It featured two new kickin holidays, Happy Super Awesome Day (on December 26th) and Cereal Awareness Month in April. The origin of CAM is my staunch devotion to revealing cereal box cheat codes and walkthroughs. Video game sites have a long tradition of doing this for games. Why not cereal boxes? For true psycho fans, here is the old CAM page that we used until 2008.
- Dear Strawberry Shortcake
She turned 30 and needed the solace only an old flame could provide.
- I am an imposter
I thought the idea of letting people from the forum submit their childhood pictures to help celebrate Mother’s Day would be a complete disaster. Little did I know what bizarre childhoods they each had.
- Ink Tales
Zach’s Ink Tales story is the perfect example of how to use a picture as a punchline.
- Manly Man Food for Men
Zach: Though my other works have been of exceptional calibre, I believe Man Food to be my crowning achievement, a work which sits comfortably beside the greats, such as Hemingway, Faulkner, and Dan Brown.
- Paris Hilton Album Review
Adam: My thinking was that there would probably be hundreds of reviews of the CD that attempted to be funny while at the same time completely bashing it. I also assumed that most of those reviews would include a lot of personal shots at her based solely on all of the “news” stories devoted to her. I figured approaching it as if I not only hadn’t heard the music (which I hadn’t) but also was completely clueless as to who Paris Hilton was would be a more original approach. The best way I could think of to do that was to make it a totally positive review of the music and make her seem like a credible and talented artist who worked extremely hard to get to where she was and deserved more mainstream exposure. I think it turned out pretty good. It made me laugh anyway.
- Happy Super Awesome Day 2006
The Maximum Awesome Awards.
- Quest for the Stink Flower
The smelliest flower in the world is blooming in Brooklyn? Man, it’s a shame Time Magazine didn’t ask me to cover it.
- War on the Floor
To be perfectly honest, the sole reason for the existence of this site was to photograph action figures fighting on my living room floor.
The very first piece of content I ever put up. It began as an email exchange between me and the bassist of The Border States…then I went off the deep end.
- I ran for Pope.
Probably the best thing that ever happened to me was the death of Pope John Paul II. I decided then and there that I should launch a campaign for the Papacy. Filming the commercials with Paul was cool, but I kept flubbing my lines. Originally, I wanted to cast someone as Dave McAwesome, but due to time constraints, I was forced to play myself. Lucky you.
- The Eyeman Cometh
I’m still not thrilled with the title. Thank christ the article turned out okay.
This roundtable discussion about why blogs suck became the genesis for Blog Thunderdome.
- Trying is the first step towards failure
Is there anything funnier than failure? I think not.
- Stubb’s BBQ Sauce
This is the quintessential Section 2 article: short, funny, one pic, done.
- The origin of Super Awesome Day