Best of

Nine. Count ’em. Nine long years of stupidity. Some highlights (or the less bad articles, at least) are below.

Even though I’ve converted from static to dynamic page creation (don’t worry, I don’t know what that means either), the old stuff is still there. Nothing’s lost. All the old pages are there. You just gotta go to the old home page. I won’t delete that.

2013 highlights

  • In space.

2012 highlights

  • In space.

2011 highlights

  • In space.

2010 highlights

2009 highlightsnameplate2009

2008 highlights

  • War on the Floor IV
    Skip Hoppington Strikes Back.
  • Happy Super Awesome Day 2008
    To celebrate this year’s awesomest holiday, I wanted to get a gift for a very special someone. That journey took a lot longer than I thought and even involved Voltron. Gift guide for Toyville.
  • McAwesome vs. The Bar
    Building my own bar means I will always get served first. Thrilling 5-part adventure with beer and power tools.
  • Star Wars Guide
    The definitive guide to Star Wars. Minus the facts.
  • 3rd anniversary
    Last year, we travelled into the future. This time, we’re going over 100 years into the past to see what the site would’ve looked like in the 1890s. I’m proud of the graphics I did for this article…well, one of them at any rate.
  • Valentine’s Day poem
    I mined the most romantic songs ever to produce the most romantic poem ever. Thank you, Marvin Gaye.

2007 highlights

2006 highlights

  • Cereal Awareness Month 2006
    2006 was an exciting year. It featured two new kickin holidays, Happy Super Awesome Day (on December 26th) and Cereal Awareness Month in April. The origin of CAM is my staunch devotion to revealing cereal box cheat codes and walkthroughs. Video game sites have a long tradition of doing this for games. Why not cereal boxes? For true psycho fans, here is the old CAM page that we used until 2008.
  • Dear Strawberry Shortcake
    She turned 30 and needed the solace only an old flame could provide.
  • I am an imposter
    I thought the idea of letting people from the forum submit their childhood pictures to help celebrate Mother’s Day would be a complete disaster. Little did I know what bizarre childhoods they each had.
  • Ink Tales
    Zach’s Ink Tales story is the perfect example of how to use a picture as a punchline.
  • Manly Man Food for Men
    Zach: Though my other works have been of exceptional calibre, I believe Man Food to be my crowning achievement, a work which sits comfortably beside the greats, such as Hemingway, Faulkner, and Dan Brown.
  • Paris Hilton Album Review
    Adam: My thinking was that there would probably be hundreds of reviews of the CD that attempted to be funny while at the same time completely bashing it. I also assumed that most of those reviews would include a lot of personal shots at her based solely on all of the “news” stories devoted to her. I figured approaching it as if I not only hadn’t heard the music (which I hadn’t) but also was completely clueless as to who Paris Hilton was would be a more original approach. The best way I could think of to do that was to make it a totally positive review of the music and make her seem like a credible and talented artist who worked extremely hard to get to where she was and deserved more mainstream exposure. I think it turned out pretty good. It made me laugh anyway.
  • Happy Super Awesome Day 2006
    The Maximum Awesome Awards.
  • Quest for the Stink Flower
    The smelliest flower in the world is blooming in Brooklyn? Man, it’s a shame Time Magazine didn’t ask me to cover it.

2005 highlights

  • War on the Floor
    To be perfectly honest, the sole reason for the existence of this site was to photograph action figures fighting on my living room floor.
  • Yokorama
    The very first piece of content I ever put up. It began as an email exchange between me and the bassist of The Border States…then I went off the deep end.
  • I ran for Pope.
    Probably the best thing that ever happened to me was the death of Pope John Paul II. I decided then and there that I should launch a campaign for the Papacy. Filming the commercials with Paul was cool, but I kept flubbing my lines. Originally, I wanted to cast someone as Dave McAwesome, but due to time constraints, I was forced to play myself. Lucky you.
  • The Eyeman Cometh
    I’m still not thrilled with the title. Thank christ the article turned out okay.
  • Blogtards
    This roundtable discussion about why blogs suck became the genesis for Blog Thunderdome.
  • Trying is the first step towards failure
    Is there anything funnier than failure? I think not.
  • Stubb’s BBQ Sauce
    This is the quintessential Section 2 article: short, funny, one pic, done.
  • The origin of Super Awesome Day
    It begins.