Lucky Charms has Crystal Balls

Lucky Charms gazes into the crystal ball and sees his future as a small man with rotten teeth.

Lucky gazes into the crystal ball and sees his future as a small man with rotten teeth.

Lucky has a lot of hobbies: running from kids, hiding bowls of cereal, traveling via rainbow, pulling purple horseshoes off My Little Pony and cramming them in cereal boxes, running from more kids, stamp collecting, and learning how to be a fortune teller.

Here’s how the scam goes. Lucky convinces some stupid kids to cough up a fiver apiece. They watch a lot of paranormal shows on cable, so they’re gullible as hell. Lucky moves his hands around a plastic crystal ball. He clicks a hidden button on the floor with his foot. Lights flicker. The globe clouds over. One of the girls in the group makes up her mind that she’s totally going to make out with Seth tonight, because he’s being so, so brave during the crystal ball phenomena.

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Cereal Awareness Month 2006

Stop by the updated Cereal Awareness Month archive.