Holiday Gift Guide 2009: Monsterpocalypse

If you haven’t grown up on the ‘Godzilla vs.’ movies, you’ve at least grown up on the ‘Godzilla vs.’ video games. I don’t exactly know what primal, destructive urge we satisfy by pitting leviathan against behemoth in our own cities, but it seems to be as powerful as hunger or love.

Monsterpocalypse by Privateer Press. Oops, you landed on Park Place. Now I'm going to step on B&O Railroad and the hotel on Marvin Gardens. Do not pass Go.

Ah, monsters fighting monsters in delicate, crushable cities. Monsterpocalypse delivers this joy as a tabletop wargame. Without hyperbole, I can say that this is the game I wish I had when I was 10.

First, let’s get something out of the way. Please don’t email me that ‘kaiju’ is the preferred term for monster. It is not. Get over yourself, you smelly hipster.

Now then, on to business. Oh, wait, I’ve already finished. There’s nothing more to say about Monsterpocalypse in a blurby gift guide thing. It’s monster on monster. In a city. If that doesn’t excite you, you can go back to watching the Lifetime Channel.

They’ve got all the requisite parties here. Godzilla-type creatures, giant apes, mechs, Lovecraftian baddies, Martians and pretty much any creature that can trigger catastrophic insurance claims is in this game. Now, sure, Privateer Press does the whole collectible bit so you have to buy, buy, buy. But once you have the handful of monsters you need, you don’t have to break the bank.

Monsterpocalypse Farm. The only thing missing in the game is a gaggle of farm animals to sacrifice to Cthulhu. Why does no one consult me on these things?

I recommend it highly. The rules aren’t terribly complicated. And, hell, if you’re so inclined, you can even play it while you watch the Lifetime Channel.

Monsterpocalypse by Privateer Press

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