Celebrity Rehab? Check. DVRed so I don’t have to sit through any more rancid commercials? Check. Cold beer? Check. Paraphrasing of the opening because I can’t be bothered to write it down? Check: “This is what happens when D-list celebrities need cash and no other reality show will have them. This…is American Idol.” Damn. I wish it was American Idol. Celebrity Rehabbing we go. [Continue Reading…]
Archives for February 2010
American Idol Audition Finale: Pest in Show
February 4, 2010 By
At long last, we’ve reached the end of Season 9’s audition cycle. And what have we learned? That tragedy is more important than talent. That having a bad day at some point in your life is just as good as a tragedy. That Ryan Seacrest looks best when dressed as a lesbian. That if you get lippy, the judges will call security on your ass. That it doesn’t pay to be a redneck. And that the Top 12 might very well end up the dullest in this show’s history. Unless they’re cast from people we’ve never seen, which is quite likely. This is American Idol. “Please do not offer my god a peanut.”
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American Idol Denver: Children of the Damned
February 3, 2010 By
Tonight’s audition episode takes place in Denver, best known to Idol viewers as The Place That Gave Us Daughtry. Personally, I pay no attention to where these people come from (or where they go, as long as they go quickly), but the show seems to put stock in such things. Barbarella Hufflepuff auditioned in Alaska. Lysterine O’Reilly auditioned in Hawaii. Isn’t that special?!? This is American Idol. “I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.”
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