Sober House 2, ep. 7: Moneylessness

If you have a drug problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…Dr. Drew’s Sober House.

Dr. Charles Sophy, a Team Drew psychiatrist, arrives to keep Jen G. from crumbling into little pieces. I don’t have much of an impression on this guy. He gets screentime once or twice a season. Seems a little awkward. Probably frowns on people who eat anything not soy-based.

Jen G.’s recent encounter with Mike has triggered issues of Bad Men who do Bad Things to innocent women. It would be nice if we, the viewers, were filled in on what exactly is going on, but there’s no time! Any more “show” will take away time slotted for “previews of the show.”

Group meeting: discharge plans.

Dennis “Captain Honesty” Rodman plans to “keep doing what I’m doing.” Is that a meta thing? Is he going to have to repeat “keep doing what I’m doing” over and over in a recursive nightmare until the universe folds on itself for another Big Bang which will eventually generate a universe including a Dennis “Twin Earth” Rodman who also sits in one of Dr. Drew’s group meeting chairs planning to “keep doing what I’m doing,” yes?

Heidi plans to go back to her birds. Dennis says she’s going to do drugs, and Drew wants her to cook and eat her birds. Dennis, Heidi and Drew are my cast for a remake of Three’s Company. I just need a new Mr. Furley.

Tom goes to court for a probation violation. He gets his probation reinstated rather than serve jail time. Justice is blind…to non-celebrities.

Dennis cleans trash off the beach. He’s also not serving jail time. Rather than be grateful for that fact, he complains that more hours were added to his community service. Life is tough…for non-celebrities.

Tom gets a driver’s license, opens a bank account (!) and finds a new apartment. Seth and Kendra help him move. We learn that Tom has terrible taste in furniture and also that he owns next to nothing. It’s like a table, chair and some zebra-patterned thing.

Dennis agrees to meet his mom. They haven’t seen each other in seven years. It’s not about money. Mom tells her son, “You always thought I wanted your money, but you were the one that promised to take care of things for me.” So it is about money. “There you go,” echos Dennis. “You shut us off,” says mom, “from the money,” I add.

Later, Dennis introduces his two youngest kids to meet their grandmother for the first time. She doesn’t know their names. I’m not sure Dennis knows them either. “Hey you” is the boys name, I think.

BBQ for friends and family.

Here we see our rehabbers preparing a BBQ for their guests. One of Seth’s friends is wasted. She’s some pornstarlet or something. They don’t identify her, which means that she’s below the scum radar of even this bottom-feeding show. Jen G. tests her. She tests positive and is asked to leave. Will gives her a card for the Pasadena Recovery Center and offers help to get sober. Surprisingly, she wants to hear more about the PRC.

“Coming up…” we hear, cut to shots of the girl puking. Ha!

She finishes puking, but is reluctant to enter rehab due to her busy porn schedule. She leaves. Jen G. reveals that she never went to the PRC. We end on some crappy Gary Go music. Gary Go is for people too threatened by the tame stylings of Dave Matthews.

To the season finale or back to the episode guide.

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