The eight Wild Card singers stand on stage, all eager and full of hope. As if the judges haven’t already decided which of them will move forward to the Top 12. As if anything they do tonight will make a hoot of difference. Ricky Braddy can pull a leprechaun out of his ass and sing “Ebony and Ivory” while balancing Ryan Seacrest on the tip of his nose. It won’t matter. The case is closed. But let’s indulge everyone, shall we? This is American Idol. You got to know when to hold ’em. Know when to fold ’em.
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American Idol: Wild Card Round: Stacked Deck
March 7, 2009 By
American Idol: Semi-Finals.3: Results!
March 5, 2009 By
The potential Idols are lined up on stage, firing squad style. Lil’s face reveals nothing. The ABBA girl is in la-la land. Taylor whats-her-face is mentally rehearsing: “Do you want fries with that?” Alex the Wiseass Nerd is queasy. That blonde country girl totally thinks she’s making it. Blind Scott is like, “Oh, yeah, baby…” Gay Nate is about three seconds from projectile vomiting on the wee head of Mr. Seacrest. The others are like, whatever. Who is that girl there? Von Smith looks delicious. This is American Idol. Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce.
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