The Zillo Beast – Clone Wars season 2.18

Blue notes.

“Choose what is right, not what is easy.” Irony, thy name is George Lucas.

The Zillo Beast.

Malastare. The Republic forces, fighting in a great plain with no cover or discernible strategic target decide to use some new secret bomb. Supposedly the bomb only affects droids. A Y-wing drops the sucker and…it’s basically an emp device…that somehow only shuts down droids. Other electronic devices reboot normally.

The blast triggers a sink hole. Mace Windu and Anakin Skywalker investigate. Windu has “a bad feeling about this.” They’re walking on the back of a giant creature. Windu escapes, but Anakin has some one-on-one time with the beast. His lightsaber won’t cut through its hide. Anakin jumps on R2 who flies him out. Anakin riding R2 is not something I ever want to see again.

The natives (Dugs) say the beasts are supposed to be extinct. They should know. They extinctified them. The Dugs’ ancestors prophecied that on of these things would return and destroy them. Windu refuses to help them exterminate the beast which jeopardizes the Dug/Republic treaty for Malastare fuel. The Republic scientist who invented the bomb wants to study the creature (she’s a bomb-making scientist turned biologist? There’s some Dr. Mindbender-type funniness going on here). She wants the creature’s hide for military research. She proposes stunning it so it appears dead to the Dugs. Then the Republic can cart it off world. So Windu is against killing it, but he’s pro sending it to a military weapons lab? The vagueries of Jedi ethics are strange indeed.

The Dugs pour fuel into the pit. Windu protests. “No, don’t pour fuel on an innocent creature! We should be torturing it in a weapons lab!” The beast escapes anyway and the Jedi plan is back on. Eventually the beast falls down asleep after being blasted by stun lasers or whatever the hell they are. Chancellor Palpatine reveals that the beast will in fact be researched on Coruscant rather than relocated to another planet and Windu pretends to be surprised. How dumb are Jedi? Seriously.

The number of firefights that occur in the open without cover: 1.

To the next episode, King Kong, I mean The Zillo Beast Strikes Back, or back to the episode guide.


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