Bounty Hunters – Clone Wars season 2.17

Blues.

“Courage makes heroes, but trust builds friendship.” And silicone builds boobies.

Bounty Hunters.

Kenobi, Anakin and Ashoka investigate a medical station. It’s gone. Vulture droids take out their ship and they have to eject…in giant supermarket beach balls. Contradicting chaos theory, their balls bounce to a stop within 10 feet of each other.

They find a village. It’s deserted. Anakin and Ashoka find two terrified farmers, but they’re surrounded by thugs. Kenobi arrives, ready to spread some trouble, but a native farmer expositions: Pirates have force their hand to hire the four thug bounty hunters for protection. Kenobi explains that they can’t help because then Grievous would take an interest in the planet. (Fink! He’s taken a in-ter-est!) The pirates arrive just in time to interrupt Kenobi’s questionable moral position. Oh look, it’s Montalban from episode 1.11.

Montalban offers the bounty hunters double their pay to step aside, but the leader (call her Maulette) says they don’t break contracts. Kenobi offers Montalban Republic credits for a ride off the planet. Wow. How…heroic? The pirates says Republic credits are worth no more than Monopoly money and leave to attack another day, so watch out Ventnor Avenue.

Rather than take five minutes out of their busy Jedi schedule to defend the farmers, our heroes decide to train them. Right. Because farmers aren’t busy during harvest season.

The bounty hunters spot a scout. The one with the saucer shaped hat gives chase. Oh my god, his hat is laser proof. Lame. He breaks the scout’s neck. That would’ve been cool if not for his lame hat.

When Montalban hears the scout hasn’t returned, he shouts, “Kirrrrrrrk!” The pirates attack with their speeder bikes and a tank. Anakin faces off with Montalban on the tank. Montalbahn’s forces are crushed. He decides to leave.

The bounty hunters give the Jedi a ride off world. Lame hat guy lives to sully a future episode.

To the next episode, The Zillo Beast, or back to the episode guide.

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