“The winding path to peace is always a worthy one, regardless of how many turns it takes.” But in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war.
Is this supposed to take place after the Jabba baby film? I lost track.
Anakin is missing. Kenobi boards a freighter and finds Anakin in a cell. They find Dooku meditating in a room. This is all happening at a weirdly fast pace. Is this fan fiction? If Boba Fett pops up, it’s definitely fanfic.
A Star Destroyer shows up and peppers the freighter. Dooku uses a trap door to escape. Anakin jumps down the trap door chute while Kenobi runs to cut them off. Dooku escapes on a ship. Kenobi meets Anakin; they board a ship and follow.
They shoot down Dooku on a nearby planet. Their ship is also hit and they crash-land about 10 feet from Dooku’s ship. They track Dooku to a cave and use their lightsabers as flash lights. Look out…
It’s a trap. A Dooku trap. A cave-in buries them. A Force Cave-in. They don’t teach Force Cave-in at Jedi school.
Dooku takes Anakin’s lightsaber. Outside, he encounters a group of people. “Who are you?” “More importantly, who are you?” Anybody gonna fill us poor viewers in? No? Okay.
In the cave, Kenobi and Anakin are okay, but Kenobi’s saber no work no more. They encounter a large bat type creature.
The people Dooku has met are willing to transport him off the planet for a fee. Yes, a transaction by which one party receives a good or service in exchange for an equal value in currency or barter. Sounds good.
Back to the cave. (The pacing of the whole episode is off.) Oh, the bat creature is a gundark. Anakin and Kenobi use Force Rock to knock it unconscious. I take it back. They do teach Force Cave-in at Jedi school.
Dooku’s ship lands. Somehow, they took his lightsabers en route. They know who he is and want to ransom him to the Republic.
While moving rocks away from the entrance, our heroes accidentally release some toxic gas. Chili dogs, probably. Then the cave entrance explodes open. Ahsoka is there.
By hologram, the ransomers (the lead pirate ransom guy is Ricardo Montalban) are speaking to Palpatine and Yoda. They show Dooku, but Palpatine says holograms can be faked. So Montalban pulls out Dooku’s lightsaber. So…that can’t be faked? I bet Palpatine doesn’t know about airbrushing either. Padme asks to send two Jedi to verify. They are to arrive unarmed.
Kenobi and Anakin land on Pirate Island. Montalban makes up a lie about the Battle to Capture Dooku. Our heroes see Dooku in one of those Force stasis restraint things that Kenobi was in during Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Dooku thinks the Jedi will be captured too. Anakin and Kenobi discuss this while walking through some hall. In the background we see a pirate punch a jawa. I laughed mightily.
Our heroes’ drinks are drugged, but the Jedi switch their drinks with pirates. So instead of being drugged, they only get space mononucleosis…aaaaaaaaaaaand abrupt ending!
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