Archives for January 2007

January 2007 archive (2nd anniv.)

  • Grammar Guide
    Duck, I’m trying to be helpful. Actually, no, I only did this for my personal reference. That shouldn’t stop YOU from using it, however. It’s a guide of common mistakes in English written in a way that’s not completely boring.
  • Two down, 98 to go
    Second anniversary of doom.

England in Medieval Total War

“London bridge is burning down!” is my new battlecry, and, come to think of it, it’s a bad one because London’s one of my cities and I don’t want my bridges sinking into the Thames. [Continue Reading…]

Spanish Empire in Medieval Total War, part 3

Espana (the tilde was hanged for heresy against the Church) has beaten back the savage Mongols. It took many years, several Spanish generals fell, and my allies did nothing to aid their comrade under duress, but my plucky Iberian armies have bravely pulled through. After rebuilding Antioch, I sacked the whole of Anatolia. I don’t even remember the names of the empires, but they were spelled funny and had sent far too many Imams trying to convert my loyal Christian subjects to Islam. Very tedious.

“Live under a perpetual Christian monarchy or die!” was our battlecry as we marched towards Constantinople. I conducted a massive pincer movement, ferrying a large army to mainland Europe while I fended off Byzantium’s preemptive strike. Somewhere along the lines, the auto-win conditions kicked in. I had the choice to continue, but I had grown tired of mimicking a Spanish accent. Scotland had soused the Brits. Denmark ate up the Holy Roman Empire. Everybody on the southern side of the Mediterranean was eating arroz con pollo. Jerusalem became the bullfighting capital of the world. With Constantinople now under siege, I decided to hang up my Instigator Stick.

Next up, I try England (just one part). Also check out a Europa Universalis campaign.

Spanish Empire in Medieval Total War, part 2

The pope is dead and one of my loyal Cardinals has been elected. What joy this has spread to the lands of Greater Iberia! “Bring the Spain!!!” is our new battlecry. The troops are now digging in against a new vile menace: The Mongol Horde. Look at their outfits. Deerskin is out, fellas. That’s soooooooo 1087. They didn’t think that was very funny and razed Antioch.[Continue Reading…]

Spanish Empire in Medieval Total War, part 1

I formed a grand campaigning army for the mighty Spanish Empire. “Muy, muy caliente!” was our battle cry. North Africa shuddered under our footsteps. I swatted Portugal too, just for kicks and because they probably deserved it. Damn Toreadors. After lightning blitzes through Egypt, Jerusalem is finally in Christian hands.[Continue Reading…]