Small Cars in Small Caverns

How to fix NASCAR.

I was thinking about how to fix NASCAR the other day, while staring at the 5-hour rain delay at Bristol. How do you fix a sport determined to ruin itself by changing its scoring format every 30 minutes? Caverns. … [Continue reading]

Coming Soon: Flight, a b/w trade paperback

Available at TheVorspiel.com

  … [Continue reading]

6th anniversary…of doom: anniversary from the near future

I am writing to you from the future. Greetings and good tidings. While you savor the fruits of a well-deserved recession, I am happily one year in the future, sitting on the monuments of financial ruin and enjoying circumstances only slightly less … [Continue reading]

Super Awesome Day 2010 Holiday Toy Drive

Last season, we donated several hundred dollars worth of toys to Island Harvest, a hunger-relief organization that also distributes toys to needy children during the December holidays. Toys are necessary tools to foster imagination, creativity and … [Continue reading]

Boo Berry spotting

Once again, the always elusive Boo Berry cereal (Frankenberry and Count Chocula's red-headed stepchild) is out now for the holiday season. Don't be stupid and miss out on Halloween's latest tradition that isn't at all a shallow marketing ploy … [Continue reading]

Rock Band 3: Blurring the Line

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I'm sure at some point you've been to a party (or gathering, if you're old) where someone had Rock Band. If not, the terrorists have already won. What caps off an already brilliant event? Your own personal full band karaoke set up. Nothing more fun … [Continue reading]

American Idol: Final Results, Final Simon…Final Frankie?!

So a bajillion people auditioned for the show this year, and apparently a bunch of those auditions happened in Chicago, and it seems that two of those Chicago auditioneers were Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze, and wouldn't you fucking know it? … [Continue reading]

American Idol Top 2: Dweezilsox! Dweezilsox! Dweezilsox!

You know what the best thing is about this season? It isn't Crystal Bowersox. It isn't Lee DeWyze. It isn't that Ellen did a pretty good job. (I don't know, I fast-forwarded through her parts.) And it isn't even that Tim Urban is sitting in the … [Continue reading]

American Idol Top 3: Results

After tonight, three become two -- and two become finale. Then finale becomes everlasting freedom from the weekly exercise in lethargy that this show has become. Who knew we had it so good back in the days of Chris Sligh? Vonzell Solomon, anyone? … [Continue reading]

American Idol Top 3: Double or Nothing

Elliston, Ohio. Mount Prospect, Illinois. Cool, Texas. These fine cities are the hometowns of the remaining three Idols: Crystal, Dweezil, and Casey, respectively. Tonight and tomorrow, we'll see footage of their visits to those obscure points of … [Continue reading]