I’m pacing myself for the season finale, so I’m not drinking this episode, but next week I’m getting blitzed. Oh. I guess that’s not ‘pacing.’
I don’t have enough in the tank to drink during this episode, so tonight it’s a very special sober Celebrity Rehab.
When last we left Celeb Rehab, Tom Sizemore was soaked from head to toe in sweat. Not normal sweat. The overweight addict kinda sweat. Smells like street tar and vomit.
Celebrity Rehab? Check. DVRed so I don’t have to sit through any more rancid commercials? Check. Cold beer? Check. Paraphrasing of the opening because I can’t be bothered to write it down? Check: “This is what happens when D-list celebrities need cash and no other reality show will have them. This…is American Idol.” Damn. I wish it was American Idol. Celebrity Rehabbing we go. Read more
Dr. Drew continues his madcap adventure recovering addicted former celebrities. And kssht is the sound a beer makes when I open it. Read more
Someone left Coors Light in my fridge, so let’s celebrate episode 3 with the lightest of light beers and one of my least favorite drinks. Coors Light is like tap water but ruined. Still no sign of Tom Sizemore. Read more
We start in Mike Starr and Joey Kovar’s room. Mike does not want to wake up. Dr. Drew flies in to tell us that detox is a huge no fun zone. If you didn’t know that already, you wouldn’t have tuned in to this show. Maybe VH1 thinks they’ll get a tax credit if they push the edumahcation on the show. Still no sign of Tom Sizemore. Let’s sit back and crack open a Miller Lite. Read more
Take a group of E-list celebrities, stick them in a recovery center with a doctor of questionable motives, staff the place with ex-addicts. This is Robert Downey Jr.’s living room. It’s also Celebrity Rehab. Read more
Dr. Drew calmly asks himself, “With a success rate so low, why do you even keep up the fight?” ‘Money,’ I answer, swigging another beer. Sweet, sweet VH1 money.
Superfun list of McAwesome Guides to TV shows. Read more