Archives for March 2010

American Idol Top 10: Results

Last night, the ten remaining contestants (mostly) snoozed and/or screeched their way through a series of R&B/soul hits — after being mentored by the “artist” known as Usher, who was hired because Sisqó was too busy. Tonight, another lukewarm body goes home to fade into delicious obscurity. This is American Idol. “Jimmy want a rib! Jimmy want a steak! Jimmy want a piece of yo chocolate cake!”
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Sober House 2, ep. 3: Joylessness

Last episode, Kari Ann hit a cameraman and was kicked out. Mike also hit a cameraman. Now we learn his punishment: he has to stay with Will for a night. Huhr? [Continue Reading…]

Bombad Jedi – Clone Wars episode 1.08

Blue’s clues.

“Heroes are made by the times.” And by Lucasfilm marketing committees. [Continue Reading…]

American Idol Top 10: Rhythm & Blahs

Earthquake. The Towering Inferno. The Poseidon Adventure. 2012. Showgirls. Tonight disaster takes a new form, as Our Dear Show hits rock bottom (again). If you thought things couldn’t get any worse, you were wrong. Taylor Hicks? He was a blessing. Chris Sligh? A superstar. Comparatively, I mean. I haven’t lost my mind. This is American Idol. “Someone get me a fucking wiener before I die.”
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Sober House season 2 recap guide

Fake rehab continues in Dr. Drew’s Sober House. [Continue Reading…]

American Idol Top 11: Results

Even this show is sick of itself. “ANOTHER IDOL MUST FALL.” That’s what it says, in big red letters, right there on my TV, in glorious high-def. Next week’s title card: “KILL US NOW. PLEASE.” They should just release a pack of wolves on the stage and whatever happens, happens. It can’t be any worse than what we’ve seen so far. This, I’m sorry to say, is American Idol. “I’m running a label here, Josephine!”
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Duel of the Droids – Clone Wars episode 1.07

Blue Fun-Tac.

“You hold onto friends by keeping your heart a little softer than your head.” Your friends are softer than keeping your heart on your head. Got it.[Continue Reading…]

Downfall of a Droid – Clone Wars episode 1.06

Blue words.

“Trust in your friends and they’ll have reason to trust in you.” Pfft. How many of us have been burned by that one?[Continue Reading…]

Rookies – Clone Wars episode 1.05

Blueness.

“The best confidence builder is experience.” In bed. See? That adding ‘in bed’ to everything game works here too. [Continue Reading…]

Destroy Malevolence – Clone Wars episode 1.04

Blue pomposity.

“A plan is only as good as those who see it through.” This from a man who openly defends Jar Jar Binks. [Continue Reading…]