Senate Murders – Clone Wars season 2.15

Blue stuff.

“Searching for the truth is easy. Accepting the truth is hard.” Also easy? Death and the first level of Super Mario Brothers.

Senate Murders.

Narrator. Padme believes that the production of more clone troops will only prolong the war. In unrelated news, she is appointed to the Senate Non Sequitur Committee. She introduces a bill to cut military spending.

Padme’s allies believe her super awesome speech will sway votes to their bill. Clearly they nor the Clone Wars writers know anything about politics. This is such Rodenberry thinking. “People are just so nifty keen. A tersely worded poem is all we’ll need to keep everyone doing nifty keen things.”

So…this speech, eh? You’ve put a lot of weight behind it, Clone Wars writers. You gonna channel some Martin Luther King in there? Gandhi? How about a sharp-tongued firebrand like Thomas Paine? “By adding more clones to the conflict we are only escalating destruction, not winning the war.” Or…none of the above. Way to spend 32 seconds writing the speech, guys.

Some creepy pederast warns Padme about being unpatriotic (and also about looking like a young boy). “The only thing I find unpatriotic is your warmongering.” Ohhh, so it’s a parable for modern times. God, this show is as deep as a puddle.

Some other creepy Senator (a Kaminoan) pops in to accuse Padme’s group of being pro-Separatist. Padme’s Uncle Greedo (real name Oda or something) passes out and dies. Lieutenant Divo (voiced by SpongeBob; I’m not kidding) of the space police has some questions. He believes Uncle Greedo was poisoned. Padme and friends don’t believe him.

Padme decides to conduct her own investigation. Bail joins her. She goes from “Detective, you’re an idiot” to accusing the two creepy Senators of murder in one second. It makes no sense. The creepy pederast tells them of a secret meeting Unca Greedo had at the docks. Padme and Bail check it out but…

It's a trap!

It's a trap!

It’s a trap. Padme and Bail barely escape unharmed. Detective SpongeBob shows up and admonishes them about being in a cop show cliche. Padme and Bail ignore him and go back to the creepy pederast. He’s been stabbed. Hopefully he was strong with the Force so that he will reappear as a pederasting ghost.

Unca Greedo’s protege, Greedette, doesn’t want to be held by the space police for protection so she leaves. She returns in a rush claiming the creepy Kamino witch attacked her.

The detective confronts the Kaminoan and reveals that the poison that killed Unca Greedo was developed by Kamino scientists to kill only Rodians. But, says Padme, it would’ve killed Greedette too! Greedette pulls a pistol–the kind that looks like it could cause a nasty 1st degree burn. Perhaps even a blister. Padme punches Greedette. That’s what you get for bringing a knife to a girl-punch-fight.

Padme’s bill fails. Anti-Non Sequiturists rejoice.

To the next episode, Das Boot, I mean, Cat and Mouse, or back to the episode guide.

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