Hollywood Round continues, and as Semi-Finals approach we’re down to 72 lukewarm bodies. Some people, an actual few, are finally starting to become recognizable. That’s a good start. But I still think they should wear the same clothes every episode, like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, just to make the experience easier for me. Tonight, the survivors sing yet again, with backup vocalists and, if they chose, performing their own musical instruments. Then the judges will then make their final cut. Until tomorrow, when they make their final final cut. This is American Idol. Zoinks!
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Archives for February 2009
American Idol Hollywood: A Room with a Poo
February 11, 2009 By
American Idol Hollywood: A Freak By Any Other Name…
February 8, 2009 By
It’s the second night of the Hollywood Round — specifically, the always-engrossing Group Night. Seacrest promises us tears, triumphs, and tragedies. I’d also like him to promise us Jason Voorhees chasing these idiots with a machete, but alas, Ryan likes to keep the viewers wanting more. Judging from teaser, however, there will be these things: Big gay hissyfits, backstabbings, f-bombs, and at least one skank. This is American Idol. Camp Crystal Lake is jinxed!
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American Idol Hollywood: Eye of the Liger
February 5, 2009 By
Like a plague of locusts, the Golden Ticket-holders descend upon Hollywood, California. Their goal: to suck our souls dry with their singing and their boringness and their yuck. What a non-starter crowd we have this year. A whole lot of nothing that adds up to zero. Sure, the freaks are gone — mostly — but they’ve been replaced by human static. White noise made flesh. I almost long for the days of Sanjaya Malakar and Matt Rogers. This is American Idol. It wants no straps.
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To the Death Star and back
February 3, 2009 By
Super Awesome Day 2008 concludes.
I met an old friend at the Death Star, Grand Moff Tarkin. I should probably say former old friend, because, as with Boba Fett, all the fanboys flocked to Tarkin as their new favorite Star Wars character with not-so-much screentime (after Fett and Wedge). That pissed me off, too. I was a big Peter Cushing fan. You fanboys ruin everything.[Continue Reading…]
Facebook Causes: Choosing the Right One not to Give a Shit About.
February 2, 2009 By
For anyone who is familiar with Facebook they know that an important part of building their online profile is by joining the right causes and groups that are featured throughout the social network. This process serves a very important purpose in that it allows the world to see what kind of pompous, self righteous asshole you are while at the same time making you feel good about yourself for an entire 30 seconds after you click to join the cause.[Continue Reading…]
American Idol NY & PR: You Wanna Go? Go Cool!
February 2, 2009 By
To make my life a misery, they’ve added a “bonus” audition episode to the weekly rotation. Thanks, Fox! This one contains footage from two cities: New York and Puerto Rico. Ryan, who as we all know, loves his Broadway, gets all giddy talking about West Side Story, a play (then a movie), which ironically features two things: New York and Puerto Ricans. But don’t try singing a show tune during your audition, because Simon will put you out on your ass. This is American Idol. How many bullets are left, Chino?
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